CSI: Almost Gone (PG-13)

Pairing:  Sara Sidle/Catherine Willows.
Summary:  Sometimes you need to nearly lose the thing you want most to give you the courage to reach for it.
CSI was created by Anthony E Zuiker and is Copyright © Jerry Bruckheimer and CBS.

* * * *

God there's so much blood.

Blood everywhere, bright crimson the only colour I see.

It oozes between my fingers as I desperately apply pressure to her stomach. It's not her only wound, but it's by far the worst.

I've pushed everything else to the periphery. The only thing I see is her, as my brain slowly processes everything that has happened in the last couple of minutes. It files everything in order to form this nightmare of a reality that is ripping me apart.

The sound of gun shots tearing through the night, the sound of running and more shots being fired and the frantic shouts coming from inside the house.

"OFFICER DOWN, OFFICER DOWN."

Its funny how when you look back on moments in your life, you remember the weirdest, most insignificant thing. As I got closer to her all I could think about was the fact that her kit had been knocked over.

I was consumed with the thought that she would be no end of pissed when she saw its contents scattered all over the floor. The majority of it now splattered with blood, contaminated and unusable.

It was a second later that I realised that the blood was hers and that right at this moment she wasn't in any position to give a shit.

I fell to my knees next to her and knew straight away it wasn't good. There was already a pool of blood forming on the floor.

And this is where I find myself. Pushing down on her stomach while Sofia does the same to a nasty looking shoulder wound.

She had been reasonably alert when Sofia and I had gotten to her, but as the precious seconds tick by she is slipping just that little bit further away from us, away from me.

We are both talking to her, saying anything that pops into our heads. She is looking up at the ceiling, her eyes staying closed longer and longer in between blinks.

I have always loved her eyes. They are always so expressive, so alive even when she has on her cool "I am an ice queen" game face. But now, each time she opens them it is a struggle. Each time she opens them, the deep, sparkling pools of brown that I long for are becoming duller.

I was concentrating on her so hard that I didn't hear the ambulance pull up. I only knew the medics had arrived when I was man handled out of the way so that they could get to her.

The next thing I know, I'm sitting next to Sofia in the waiting room of the hospital doing what I absolutely hate with a passion - waiting. We're both sitting here in overalls, having been processed for evidence which included giving them our clothes.

* * * *

It wasn't until after she had been brought out of surgery that we all found out how close we had come to losing her.

The doctor who came to see us explained that Sara had died once in the ambulance and twice on the operating table. Luckily, each time they had been able to bring her back.

All that keeps bouncing around in my head is that Sara had almost gone.

He had been candid enough to reveal that he was surprised that she survived. Well I've got news for him Sara Sidle is one tough cookie. It will take a hell of a lot more than a couple of bullets to kill her.

I feel as though I've been cast adrift on the ocean, with no map, no markings to find my way. My feelings for Sara had long ago developed into something that I had been trying to deny and right now for the life of me I can't think why.

Suddenly all my logical, well thought out excuses for why I haven't taken a chance seem hollow. As I sit next to Sara's hospital bed I know that when she is well enough I am going to roll the dice and take perhaps the biggest gamble that I've ever taken with my heart.

Because I love her.

The End.

CSI: I Want (NR-17)

Pairing:  Sara Sidle/Catherine Willows or Sara Sidle/Sofia Curtis.
CSI was created by Anthony E Zuiker and is Copyright © Jerry Bruckheimer and CBS.
Summary:  I couldn't decide whether this was a Sara/Sofia story or a Sara/Catherine story so I'll let you decide for yourself who you think it is. It is from either Sofia or Catherine's point of view. 

* * * *

I want her to grab me and pull me tight against her body.

I want her to kiss me hard, crush our lips together.

I want her tongue to plunder my mouth.

I want her to drag me into our bedroom. Undress me and throw me onto the bed.

I want her to tease me while she undresses.

I want her to explore me with her hands and mouth. Caress me as she licks and sucks.

I want to watch as she moves down my body. See her fuck me with her tongue.

I want her to hear me scream her name. Watch me as I come.

I want her to strap it on, thick and long. As many inches as she wants.

I want her above me, her body pressing me into the mattress.

I want her to sink into me, fill me.

I want it slow, teasing.

I want it hard, our bodies slapping together.

I want to see her come, listen to the sounds that she makes. Hear my name.

I want to be below her and above. Riding her hard.

I want her to take me from behind, while I'm on my hands and knees.

I want her to take control. Have me anyway she wants.

I want her to dominate, rid herself of some of her ghosts.

I want her to prove to herself she is not like them. Not capable of hurting, abusing. Only expressing her desires, her love.

I want these things for her, for us.

She needs.

I want.

The End.

Lost Girl - Safe Word (R)

Pairing:   Bo Dennis/Lauren Lewis.
Lost Girl was created by Michelle Lovretta and is Copyright © Canwest Global and Prodigy Pictures.

This is dedicated to JJ over at the doccubus.com forums - this story was inspired by her avatar.

* * * *

Bo frowned, suddenly unsure of herself and what she had just suggested. “Are you sure you want to do this?”

Lauren simply nodded and moved to straddle Bo's hips. She leaned in for a kiss and they were soon making out like a couple of teenagers.

When Bo couldn't wait any longer, she gently pushed Lauren off her, taking her by the hand she led her upstairs.

Both women undressed slowly, enjoying the sight of more and more exposed skin. Once she was naked, Bo slid onto the bed, laying in the centre, her arms extended above her head.

Lauren found the first silk scarf and tied Bo's left wrist to the bed post. Climbing onto the bed and straddling Bo, she reached up and tied the other wrist, pulling each scarf to make sure they were secure.

The anticipation of what was about to happen made Bo moan as she pulled on her bindings, testing their strength.

Leaning forward, Lauren brushed her lips against Bo's. “Babe, we're going to need a safe word.”

Bo nearly laughed as the perfect word came to her. As she looked up at Lauren she couldn't wipe the smile off her face. “Isotopes.”

Lauren raised her eyebrows. “Isotopes, really?”

Bo's smile widened, “I'm 100% sure Dr Lewis. Isotopes.”

Lauren moved so that her body is covering Bo's, making sure to press her weight down on to the succubus.

Bo couldn't contain the throaty moan from escaping at the full body contact.

Lauren grinned down at her lover, “Isotopes it is then.”

The End.

Lost Girl - A Walk in the Park (G)

Pairing:  Bo Dennis/Lauren Lewis.
Lost Girl was created by Michelle Lovretta and is Copyright © Canwest Global and Prodigy Pictures.

* * * *

Some days I think about my life and where I would be if I'd never gone to the Congo. Nadia and I would probably be living the dream with a house, the white picket fence and maybe even a couple of kids.

Sometimes I long for that life. But then I realise that if I had it, I wouldn't know the things I do or know the people I have in my life and that just doesn't seem right. I turn away from the passenger side window and glance at Bo, who's concentrating on the road.

I think of the conversation we had what feels like forever ago. Bo wants a normal life with the white picket fence. It's something I desperately want for her and if I'm honest with myself, I want to live that life with her. But I made a choice that ruined any chance of Bo and I being together, so someone else will get to live that life.

I turn my attention back to the world outside the passenger side window and can't help smiling at what I see. "Bo, pull over."

She looks at me like I've lost my mind, but pulls the car over anyway. I exit the car and don't wait for Bo to join me before I walk towards the ice cream van. "What flavour would you like?"

Bo shakes her head and laughs at me as I order a chocolate ice cream cone. When I turn to face her, waiting for her order she rolls her eyes. "Strawberry."

I hand Bo her ice cream and head over to the nearest park bench without waiting for her. I'm pretty low on her good guy list at the moment so I half expect her to stay away from me and to be honest I think I need some alone time.

Sitting down on the bench I watch as Bo debates with herself on what to do. I close my eyes and lean back, enjoying the sun on my face as I savour my ice cream. I'm taken back to my childhood when we'd go to the park for a picnic and if I was really lucky dad would buy me an ice cream.

I'm pulled from my memories by the bench moving as someone sits next to me. I open my eyes and meet Bo's curious gaze, “what were you thinking about just then?”

I can feel myself blushing, "just some good memories." We fall into an awkward silence as we eat our ice creams. I feel myself slip back into my cool ice queen facade and it makes me a little sad, it reminds me how much I've changed over the last five years.

Finishing my ice cream I push up off the bench. "I'm going to stretch my legs, I'll meet you back at the car." I don't wait for Bo to reply as I head off towards the large pond in the middle of the park.

I try not to think too much about the present as I walk. Taking in the sights and sounds I lose myself in memories of camping and hiking, less complicated times when I didn't have a care in the world.

Watching the birds swoop, dive and swim on the water relaxes me and I lose track of time as I enjoy my surroundings. I nearly jump out of my skin when something touches my hand and I feel a presence beside me.

I turn my head and see a smiling Bo standing beside me. As I look down I see that she is holding my hand, our fingers interlaced. Not for the first time, I think how perfectly our hands fit together.

Turning back to the pond I feel relaxed and happy for the first time in a very long time. We enjoy the scenery in silence for a few minutes before Bo gently squeezes my hand. I focus my attention back to her and she moves to stand in front of me, our bodies almost touching.

Reaching up, Bo cups my cheek with her hand brushing her thumb against my skin. I gasp at the touch which earns a smile from Bo. She leans forward and brushes her lips against mine, “you're so beautiful.”

There's so much I want to tell Bo, I've got so much to say but for the life of me I can't find the words. She smiles at me, her beautiful eyes sparkling before she becomes serious. “Lauren, there's so much we need to talk about.”

I sign in frustration at my inability to form a coherent sentence as Bo brings our joined hands up so she can kiss the back of my hand.

“Let's just pretend we're on our first date. We'll take a walk in the park and make awkward first date conversation and take it from there.”

I can't help but laugh, Bo sure has some crazy ideas sometimes. I nod my head and we head off along the path surrounding the pond. Yes, just a walk in the park. . . .

The End.

Lost Girl - Something New 2 (NR-17)

Pairing:  Bo Dennis/Lauren Lewis.
Lost Girl was created by Michelle Lovretta and is Copyright © Canwest Global and Prodigy Pictures.

Something New was only supposed to be a one off, but then I decided to write a second half - enjoy!!

* * * *

I can't get the other night out of my head.

Lauren is at the bar talking to Trick and I have to say she is looking even hotter than normal – and that's saying something.

I've resisted long enough, so I make my way to her and interrupt them, “sorry Trick, but I need to borrow Lauren.”

Taking her hand, I lead her outside. Pushing her against the side of my car I press my body against hers and grind my hips, which earns me the sexiest moan. “I'm going to take us back to your place, I want to take you to bed.”

In no time at all, Lauren is trying to open her door while I press myself against her, kissing her neck. "Babe, I think I'll get this open quicker if you stop distracting me."

I let her go long enough to open the door and step inside. Then we're kissing, hot and hungry as we stumble towards the bedroom, undressing as we go. When we reach our destination I kneel down in front of Lauren, kissing her stomach as I slid her panties off. I lean back on my heels and enjoy the sight of naked Lauren, so damn beautiful.

Standing up I back away, a look of confusion crosses Lauren's face as I move towards my goal. When I open the top draw Lauren's eyes widen and then her whole face lights up. Taking the harness I move back towards her, “help me with this.”

Silence fills the room as I step into the harness and Lauren helps me with the straps. Once everything is in place I take a few moments to get used to the sensation of wearing the strap on.

I thought I would feel silly wearing it, but as I look down at the dildo the thought of what I'm about to do turns me on. When I look back at Lauren she is obviously having similar thoughts as she licks her lips and swallows hard.

Lauren takes my hand and leads me to the bed, I gently push her onto her back and I lay down beside her. I can never get enough of her, so I take my time exploring her body with my hands and mouth.

The sounds she makes as I taste her drive me crazy, she is so damn wet. When she whispers my name as she arches her back I move back up her body and kiss her hard.

Breaking the kiss, I take one of her hands and guide it down to the dildo. I don't want to hurt her, “I want you to guide me ok?”

She spreads her legs a little more and with her other hand on my hip moves my position so I'm on top of her. She guides the dildo closer to her opening, “you won't hurt me, just go slow to start with.”

As the dildo enters her, Lauren lets go of it and gently grips my other hip. I let her control my movements and I'm mesmerised by her. As I enter her further with each thrust, she gasps, her skin becoming more flushed as we never break eye contact.

Our bodies become still for a moment and I can't resist leaning down to kiss her, compared to our earlier kisses it's quite chaste.

Slowly, gently I begin thrusting my hips, the sensation of the harness grinding against me with each push and pull driving me crazy. Our bodies are soon slick with sweat as we move together.

Lauren's hands seem to be everywhere, caressing, teasing my body. When she moans my name I'm lost and I can't hold back any more. Reaching down I take her hand and interlace our fingers. I move to support myself on my elbow, our hands next to Lauren's head, palms pressed together.

I use my other hand to caress Lauren's body as I begin thrusting my hips faster, earning the sexiest moan each time our bodies come together. We've soon settled into a rhythm, the pressure of the harness sending me hurtling towards orgasm.

It only takes a few more thrusts and Lauren is coming, whispering my name as her back arches up off the bed. At the sound of my name I'm lost in my own orgasm. My thrusts become hard and irregular and we come a second time before Lauren wraps her legs around me waist, stopping all movement.

Our ragged breathing fills the room and Lauren holds me in place, my weight pressing down on her. “Am I too heavy?”

She brushes her lips against mine, “no, I love the feel of you against me.”

She kisses me again, this time with more passion and we begin again.

The End.

Lost Girl - Sacrifice (R)

Pairing:  Bo Dennis/Lauren Lewis.
Lost Girl was created by Michelle Lovretta and is Copyright © Canwest Global and Prodigy Pictures.

* * * *

Everything is one big cluster fuck.

They've tried to tell me a million times. Trick, Dyson and even Lauren – respect Fae customs and follow the rules.

But oh no, I had to be me and fuck up royally. And now, now Kenzi is going to die and it's all my fault.

Working a case I charged in as usual and insulted a Dark Fae Elder. In retribution he's demanded the “sacrifice” of my human.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

In less than 3 hours Kenzi will be executed in a ceremony to restore his reputation and I can't do a damn thing about it.

As per custom, my abilities have been bound until it's over. Look at me, human at last – fuck this.

Everyone else is so damn calm, Trick thinks he's got some kind of plan and Dyson and Lauren took off hours ago.

I'm about to punch something when Dyson and Lauren come through the door.

“Where have you two been?”

Dyson comes and sits next to me at the bar, while Lauren follows Trick down to the other end.

I try to catch what Trick and Lauren are talking about. It looks like Lauren is explaining something to him that he doesn't like.

“No.”

Yep, he definitely doesn't like it.

What ever they are talking about, Lauren isn't giving up. She is gesturing wildly with her hands in that cute way.

Lauren's persistence seems to have paid off as he finally nods his head, but he still doesn't look happy about it.

* * * *

The ride to the Glasshouse is quiet. I've tried to get Trick to tell me what the grand plan is, but he won't tell me.

“Trust me,” he says.

As we enter the main hall I can see Kenzi strapped to a table in the middle of the room. She looks pissed, but also terrified.

Next to Kenzi is a smaller table with a series of syringes on it. My anger gives way to a feeling of helplessness.

The ceremony is about to start when Trick approaches the Dark Fae Elder and requests an audience, which is granted.

Once again I'm stuck too far away to hear what is being said. After what feels like forever the Elder looks over to where we are standing, “you may approach.”

Before I can take a step Lauren grabs my arm. Turning to look at her she whispers, “trust me, I know what I'm doing.”

Before I can say anything, she is kneeling in front of the the Dark Elder, head bowed.

There is more talk between the Light and Dark Elder. Eventually, the Dark Elder speaks to Lauren, who nods.

As he addresses the audience, the Dark Elder seems pleased with himself, “there has been an agreement reached. The human known as Kenzi is free to go.”

I watch in disbelief as two goons untie Kenzi and help her off the table. She is wide eyed and looks at me shaking her head. I'm so relieved, I could cry.

Trick takes her by the arm and leads her to where Dyson, Hale and I are standing.

Kenzi is almost frantic, “Bo, no. You have to stop her.”

What?

Before I can ask Kenzi what the hell she's talking about I realise that Lauren is still kneeling before the Dark Elder.

He steps forward and places a hand on her head, “let it show that on this day the human known as Lauren was sacrificed in restitution for wrong doing by the Fae known as Bo.”

As my brain tries to process what he just said, Lauren stands and walks towards the table.

No.

I try to speak, to scream, but my words won't come.

No.

Lauren gets up on the table and lays down.

No.

I will myself forward, but my feet won't move.

No.

My head is filled with white noise as the reality of what is about to happen hits me.

NO.

Once she is in position, Lauren looks at me, not breaking eye contact as the first needle is injected into her arm.

NO.

My heart is raging in my chest, the thought of losing Kenzi drove me crazy, but losing Lauren will break me.

With the last of the injections administered Lauren's eyes begin to close. Her breathing becomes laboured and her body trembles.

As she slips away from me, my anger flares. These fuckers will pay, I will make all of them my bitches. Once the binding is over, I'm going to introduce these ass holes to Bo's version of hell.

Lauren cries out and my heart shatters into a million pieces.

Her eyes close and her body relaxes, she's gone.

* * * *

I'm on autopilot. Time drags, every minute seems to take an hour.

Kenzi wraps an arm around me, trying to comfort me.

After it was over I stood there staring, unable to take my eyes off her.

Dyson and Hale move forward and undo the straps holding her down. Ever so gently Dyson lifts Lauren off the table and carries her to a nearby stretcher. When I see the body bag sitting on top of it I come undone, I don't even attempt to wipe away my tears.

As I watch the guys place her in the bag I'm unable to resist and I reach out to cup her face. Her skin is soft and warm.

When I lean down and press a kiss to her forehead, my tears fall onto her face. I kiss her on the lips before I let Hale do the bag up. As she disappears from sight, I know I will never love anyone as much as I love her.

* * * *

The drive back to the Dal is silent. I can feel Kenzi's eyes on my constantly, but I don't acknowledge her, or anyone.

I head straight for the back rooms, I want to be alone with my thoughts, with my memories.

Dyson moves next to me and takes my hand, "come with me."

Reluctantly I let him lead me into one of Tricks guest rooms where we join Hale, Trick and Kenzi.

I flinch as I see Lauren's body on the bed, what the fuck is going on? This must be some kind of sick joke.

Trick sits on the bed and places a box on the bedside table. He grabs the neck of Lauren's tshirt and rips it open, exposing her chest.

Kenzi is obviously finding this as weird as I am, “Trick dude, what the fuck are you doing?”

He ignores her and opens the box, taking out two syringes. He injects the smaller needle into Lauren's arm and then holding the bigger one like a dagger, he slams it down, injecting the contents into her chest.

The seconds tick by as I try and figure out what is going on. Trick reaches for Lauren's wrist and it suddenly dawns on me what he is doing – checking for a pulse.

Oh my fucking God!!

My mind is full of questions as I fall to my knees next to the bed and hold my breath.

What the hell did Trick and Lauren do and how did they do it?

How are we going to explain Lauren being alive?

And why the fuck didn't they tell me what they were doing?

The seconds tick by and nothing happens. Just as my hope begins to fade, the slightest frown appears on her face.

Her body twitches and then all at once she's gasping for breath and her eyes fly open.

Lauren's eyes are wild and unfocused as she struggles to breath and at that very moment I've never seen anything more beautiful.

The End.

Lost Girl - Blood Loss (R)

Pairing:  Bo Dennis/Lauren Lewis.
Lost Girl was created by Michelle Lovretta and is Copyright © Canwest Global and Prodigy Pictures.

* * * *

We're all at the Dal having drinks. Well, everyone being myself, Bo, Kenzi, Dyson and Hale.

I offered to buy the next round, so I'm waiting patiently at the bar while Trick serves another patron.

While I wait I watch our little group. Well truthfully, I watch Bo. Dyson reaches for her hand and their fingers interlace before he gently kisses the back of it. I have to look away.

I know I had my chance with Bo, I had it and I blew it. Since then the only time she's talked to me is to do with a case. I try and be happy for her and Dyson for giving it another try, but really, I just can't be around them.

It hurts too much.

Truth be told, I'm not even sure what I'm doing here tonight. No matter what I do, I just don't seem to fit. I don't mean just now, it's always been that way.

I'm suddenly tired. All the fight has gone out of me and I want to be alone.

“Same again Lauren?”

I nod and then change my mind, “actually Trick, just make it one shot and three beers.”

“Sure thing.”

I lay my money on the bar as I plan my escape, “can you please have someone deliver them to the table.”

I can feel his eyes on me, “sure.”

As I get up from the barstool Trick takes my hand, “Lauren, are you ok?”

“Yeah Trick, I will be. Just need to get out of here, that's all.”

He seems satisfied and lets me go. Without looking back I slip through the crowd to the door.

As Dom swings the door open for me, I'm hit with a cold blast of air. I decide against a cab and turn towards home.

* * * *

I've been hyper aware of Lauren tonight, but that's nothing new. I'm always hyper aware of Lauren, it's like she's got some kind of damn tracking beacon that I'm tuned in to.

I'm still mad at what she did to me about the whole Vex situation. Mad and hurt, so I've been keeping things strictly business between us. But I know my resistance is futile and eventually I'll let her try and explain.

I watch her as she waits to be served at the bar. Something seems off, but I can't put my finger on it. I look at Dyson when he takes my hand and kisses the back of it, his desire burning bright. I gently remove my hand from his grip and when I glance back at Lauren I realise what's bothering me.

Normally Lauren is lit up like a Christmas tree. But as she sits at the bar talking to Trick, her energy is dull, there isn't even a flicker of brightness and it worries me.

Trick seems concerned too, but Lauren says something to him and he seems satisfied. As she steps away from the bar it takes a second for me to realise that she isn't heading back our way, but towards the door.

It pisses me off that she would leave without saying goodbye. I excuse myself and head out after her.

I nod to Dom as he opens the door for me and as I step outside all hell breaks loose.

I hear the screeching of car tires and several loud bangs, followed by screaming as people begin to panic.

Fighting my way through the crowd, I desperately look for Lauren. I figure she would have been heading towards her place so I follow in that direction.

Scanning the area as I go I stop dead in my tracks when I see her. She's laying on the pavement about ten feet in front of me, motionless.

I shove people out of the way as I run to her. Falling to my knees, I gently roll her onto her back and gasp. She's barely conscious and there is blood everywhere.

I gently shake her, “Lauren, can you hear me?”

Ripping a piece of my shirt, I ball it up and hold it to one of her wounds. As I press down firmly Lauren grunts and her eyes fly open.

The next thing I know, Trick and Kenzi are beside me. I always did have a knack for stating the obvious, “we need to stop the bleeding.”

Trick pulls her shirt up to look at the damage, “Dyson and Hale have gone to get the car, we'll take her to the Ash.” He looks worried, which isn't doing much to stop my sudden urge to freak out.

No sooner are the words out of his mouth than Hale pulls the car to a screeching halt next to where we are.

Without hesitation, I pick Lauren up and we all scramble for the car.

Hale is driving like a maniac with Dyson and Trick in the front, Kenzi, Lauren and I are in the back.

Lauren is leaning heavily against me, basically laying on my lap as Kenzi and I put pressure on the worst of her injuries.

Her eyes are unfocused and she is trying to talk. “Too. Much. Blood.”

Her body begins to tremble as she goes into shock. As we speed through a red light, Lauren gently squeezes my hand. I look down at her and for a moment her eyes are clear and focused and I can she her love for me.

She smiles up at me before her eyes roll back in her head and her body goes limp.

* * * *

Kenzi's got the door open before the car comes to a complete stop. Dyson races around to Kenzi's side of the car, picks Lauren up and is through the door before the rest of us are out of the car.

As I burst through the door of the compound, I see that the medical staff already have Lauren on a guerney, rushing her down the corridor. I recognise two of them as Lauren's assistants, Kate and Mark or Matt, what ever the hell his name is.

I easily catch up, my eyes never leaving Lauren as Kate climbs up on the side of the bed and begins chest compressions.

We're through one door and then another before we're stopped in our tracks by one of the nurses, “I'm sorry but we're taking her into surgery, you can't go any further.”

They take Lauren through a set of large double doors and I try to follow, “I'm not leaving her.”

The nurse steps in my path, takes me by the arm and leads me through a different door, “you can stay in here.”

Everyone has followed me into what looks like some kind of viewing room. On the other side of a glass wall is a large room with medical equipment.

The doors to the room burst open and they wheel Lauren in. As one of the nurses cuts Laurens shirt off, two others are hooking all sorts of machines up to her.

I feel sick when I realise they've hooked a heart monitor up to her and there is no activity. Kate grabs a crash cart and places the paddles on Lauren's chest, her body jolts but there is still nothing on the monitors.

They try again, but still nothing so they resume CPR.

I'm standing right in front of the window. Without realising it, I've put my hand on the glass, which, briefly fogs up every time I breath out.

Behind me and to the left I can hear Kenzi, “come on Doc, breath already.”

Under the window, just in front of me I notice a switch, when I reach down and turn it on, the room is suddenly filled with the sounds coming from the next room.

Kate is yelling orders as she takes the paddles and holds them against Lauren, once again her body jolts. Finally, after what seems like forever, the heart monitor gives a single blip, followed by another and slowly but surely a regular beeping can be heard.

“Ok, we're going to have to go in and fix up any internal damage. Matt, you monitor her vitals when we put her under.”

Kate moves towards us, “we're going to operate now, you guys might want to wait in the other room.”

Kenzi appears at my side and gently takes me by the arm, “come on Bo, we'll wait next door while they do their doctory stuff.”

I hesitate as I take in Lauren and the busy team of people working on her. I give Kate my best “you better not fuck up” stare and then let Kenzi guide me out the door.

* * * *

Trick, Dyson and Hale left a couple of hours ago to try and figure out what went down at the Dal.

Kenzi and I have been sitting in the most uncomfortable chairs known to man while we wait for news of Lauren.

I've never been this far into the light fae compound before and I'm surprised to learn that they have a fully staffed hospital. I guess thinking about it, it makes sense. You can't really have fae being treated for their unique conditions in a human hospital if you want to keep your existence a secret.

Kenzi went and got cleaned up awhile ago. I just can't bring myself to wash Lauren's blood off me. Not yet anyway, not until I know she's going to be ok.

I don't know if the fact they've had her in the operating theatre for so long is good or bad. I'm about to go and find someone who can tell me when Kate comes striding through the double doors.

As she comes to a stop in front of us, Kenzi and I both stand. “Well, things were pretty bad there for awhile, but we've got her all patched up and hopefully everything will be ok.”

I release the breath I'd been holding and try to focus on what Kate is saying. “The only thing I'm worried about is the length of time she flat lined. Her brain was without oxygen for a little while, so there is a small chance there may be some impairment, but we won't know until she wakes up.”

I swallow hard as what Kate is saying sinks in, but I dismiss the possibility, Lauren is going to be just fine. “I want to see her.”

Kate smiles, “I thought you might, follow me.”

She leads us through several corridors before we stop in front of an Intensive Care Unit. Kenzi sits down on one of the chairs, “why don't you do in, I'll wait here ok.”

I push through the doors and make my way over to Lauren's bed. There are all sorts of monitors surrounding the bed, with a heap of leads attached to various parts of Lauren's body.

The sight of Lauren so still and vulnerable is unsettling, but the regular beeping of the machines some how calms me.

I carefully lean over her and brush my lips against her forehead before pulling a chair over and sitting next to her bed.

I take her hand and interlace our fingers. Before when Dyson was holding my hand it felt strange. But now, when I look down at our joined hands, even with some of her blood still on me, our hands look natural together, beautiful.

* * * *

I'm jerked awake by the ringing of my cell phone, I see it's Dyson calling, “hi.”

“Hi, how is she?”

I look at the various machines, “she's doing ok.”

“Listen Bo, we figured out what happened last night. One of the dark fae clans took out a hit on another clan they've been feuding with. Looks like Lauren got in the way of a drive by shooting.”

That got my attention and I lean forward in the chair, “who was it”.

“Doesn't really matter now. The Ash has invoked his right to retribution. Because one of his humans was hurt, he can enact justice how he sees fit. Their lives were forfeited as soon as the first bullet hit her.”

Holy crap. I have mixed feelings about it because even though I want them to pay for hurting her, I know Lauren wouldn't want them killed.

“I gotta go, I'll talk to you later.”

“Are you sure you're ok Bo?”

I sigh, “I'm fine Dyson, I'll see you later.” I hang up the phone before he can say anything else.

I'm not ok. I've been acting like a complete ass and I nearly lost the most important thing in my life because I was too proud to let her explain.

I mean I haven't exactly been treating her the way I should. I've been bouncing around between her and Dyson. I've rubbed my relationship with him in her face more than once with no regard for her feelings.

I have the sudden need to sort out my shit. I lean down, kiss her on the forehead and move to whisper in her ear, “I love you.”

Holy fuck, what did I just say? That isn't what I'd meant to say to her at all. But as the words bounce around in my head I suddenly see that they are exactly what I meant.

“You wait right here, I'll be back.”

I lay her hand back down on the bed and make my way to the door. Just before I push my way through I turn around and look at her. My heart swells at the sight of her and I don't even hesitate saying it again, “I love you.”

* * * *

Before going to the Dal, I stop by home to shower and change. Kenzi was asleep on the couch with the TV on so before I left I put a blanket over her and turned the set off.

When I get to the Dal, I find Dyson and Hale drinking at the bar talking to Trick, “hi guys”.

They all welcome me and Trick asks how Lauren is. “Pretty good considering you know.”

Hale offers to buy me a drink, which I decline.

I turn my attention to Dyson, “can I talk to you for a minute?”

We make ourselves comfortable on one of the couches. I turn on the side so I can give him my undivided attention. “Dyson, you know you mean a lot to me.”

“Yeah.”

I shift in my seat and clear my throat. “I do love you, but the only future I can offer you is as my friend.”

A silence settles over us before he nods his head and offers me a tight smile. “It's because of Lauren isn't it? You love her.”

“More than I realised.”

He moves forward and hugs me, “I just want you to be happy.”

“I know.”

He stands up, “you know if you need me for anything, just call ok?” Before I can answer, he's half way back to the bar.

* * * *

I make it back to the Ash's compound in record time. As I make my way back to Intensive Care I see the Ash coming out of Lauren's room.

When he sees me, he waits for me to reach him, “Hello Bo, I wanted to thank you for getting Lauren here so promptly after last nights events.”

“No problem, I wanted to get her help as fast as possible.”

He nods, “well your quick thinking will be remembered.”

He offers me what I think is supposed to be a smile before walking down the corridor.

I enter Lauren's room and resume my previous position in the chair next to her bed, holding her hand.

“Hi beautiful, I'm back.”

Not exactly sure what to do and finding myself wide awake I start talking. It's more to fill the silence than anything, I want her to know that she isn't alone, that I'm here waiting for her.

The thought that she might wake up with no one here, thinking that I don't care makes my heart ache.

I hope she can forgive me for being such an ass. That when she wakes up she doesn't hate me, that I've still got a shot at making a life with her.

I'm going to do what I should have done before, fight for us.

The End.

Lost Girl - After Taste (PG-13)

Pairing:  Bo Dennis/Lauren Lewis.
Lost Girl was created by Michelle Lovretta and is Copyright © Canwest Global and Prodigy Pictures.

* * * *

I'm on a downward spiral. Today I've had the crap beaten out of me and then Dyson was a complete ass about helping me heal.

In the end I told him to take his chi and shove it and I found a stranger to do the trick for me. So while I'm now fighting fit physically, mentally and emotionally I'm shot.

You see the problem is I've gone and fallen in love. No, not with Dyson, which is why he's gone all emo. I'm in love with one Dr Lauren Lewis and it's messing with my heart and my head.

The smart thing would be to go home and try to sleep my blues away, but of course I don't always do what's best for me. Actually it's normal for me to do the wrong thing and try and clean up the mess later. That is how I got the crap beaten out of me earlier, so you know, I'm on top of my game.

So here I am, knocking on Lauren's door at one in the morning. My “feed” from earlier has left an after taste that is making me crazy. I didn't have sex with him, but he had his hands all over me and he tasted like alcohol.

Of course, I don't need to have sex with people to feed off their chi, which is lucky for me. Since falling for Lauren, I can't stand the idea of being that intimate with anyone else. I know it's unheard of for a succubus, but all I want is her.

I knock again and wait, seeing Lauren is the only thing that will clear my head. When she finally opens the door, my head gets well and truly cleared. Her hair is tousled and she's hastily thrown a bathrobe over what is the tiniest tshirt I've ever seen and a pair of panties.

I have to remind myself to blink as I take in the full glory that is Lauren – holy shit her legs go on forever.

It's when she speaks, with her voice low and full of sleep that I truly come undone, “Bo, is everything alright?”

Before I realise what I'm doing, I've moved forward, picked her up and slammed the door shut behind me. She lets out a surprised yelp, but simply wraps her arms around me. I gently put her down next to the couch, where I pull her down to sit next to me.

She's got that bemused look on her face that she gets and patiently waits for me to tell her what is going on.

I look at her and it all becomes too much. As my tears begin to fall I don't even bother wiping them away.

Lauren doesn't hesitate, she gently pulls me back against the couch, wrapping me in her arms. She holds me while I cry, as my body trembles with each sob.

We sit like that for what feels like hours, me blubbering like an idiot and Lauren whispering words of comfort.

Eventually we move a little so that I can look into her eyes, “I'm sorry, I didn't plan on this.”

She cups my face in her hands and wipes away my tears, “I'm always here, when ever you need.”

The next thing I know, we're kissing. Sweet, tender kisses that make my toes curl. As we pull apart, I have a burning need to tell her. It's not the first time I've said the words, but I need to tell her anyway, “I love you.”

I'm rewarded with the biggest Lauren smile as her eyes sparkle, “I love you too.”

I can't help but gawk at her as I take in her bare legs. She rolls her eyes and stands up, holding out her hand. I eagerly take it and let her lead me to her bedroom.

We undress each other and get comfortable on the bed. I then take great delight in spending the rest of the night exploring Lauren's body. I map every inch of soft, perfect skin with my hands, with my mouth.

When we're together our love is all we need. The Fae, both light and dark fade away into the back ground with everything else. We both hold onto that and use it to get us through the hard times, when the odds against us are stacked high.

The End.

Lost Girl - Something New (NR-17)

Pairing:  Bo Dennis/Lauren Lewis.
Lost Girl was created by Michelle Lovretta and is Copyright © Canwest Global and Prodigy Pictures.

* * * *

There are books and papers spread out all over the coffee table and couch, but we aren't really looking at them.

I'd come to Lauren's to get help identifying a Fae, but we'd ended up doing what we always do. Looking at each other longingly and finding excuses to touch.

“Do you want something to eat?”

It's an innocent question, but it stirs up a hunger of a different kind.

What I really want must be written all over my face, because the next thing I know we're kissing. Wet, hungry kisses that aren't doing anything to satisfy my need.

We fumble our way to the bedroom, clothes hitting the floor as we go.

Lauren pushes me towards the bed and I can't help but stare. Her hair is messy and she is breathing heavy, her chest heaving. But it's her eyes that have me frozen in place, they are burning with an intensity that makes my body ache. 

She starts saying something but stops and breaks eye contact, looking anywhere but at me.

I take a step towards her, “what is it?”

She looks back at me with those eyes, “Bo,” she licks her lips, “I want to fuck you.”

Her words wash over me like a caress, I take another step towards her, “tell me.”

Lauren hesitates before turning away. I'm confused for a minute until I see what she's holding in her hands when she turns back to face me.

When it comes to sex, I'm always in control, the one in charge, except when it comes to Lauren. From the very first time I willingly gave myself to her and it felt amazing.

This, this is something new. I've never thought of using sex toys, but the sight of Lauren holding the hardness makes my body react. The idea of her wearing it, using it on me turns me on even more.

She takes my silence as rejection though and she's suddenly awkward, shy Lauren and she backs away from me blushing.

“I'm sorry, I just. . . .”

Before she can finish, I've crossed the distance between us. I take hold of her wrist and pull her towards me, “don't be sorry for what you want.”

I grind my hips against her, “put it on, I want to see you.”

We slowly finish undressing each other, kissing and caressing. I'm mesmerised as I watch Lauren step into the harness and adjust the straps. The dildo is long and thick and I know it is going to be tight inside me.

I never break eye contact as I move onto the bed, laying on my back. I love how expressive her eyes are and the burning intensity is back as she moves to the end of the bed.

Starting at my ankles, she gently caresses her way upwards, barely touching me. I spead my legs as she moves upwards, I'm desperate for more contact.

As Lauren leans down and flicks my navel with her tongue, she covers my breasts with her hands. My back arches and I can't contain a low moan. God damn it, I'm nearly panting.

And then she's kissing me, tender at first and then hungry and demanding. I can't stand it any longer, I grasp one of her hands and guide it down between my legs. As she feels the wetness there I buck my hips and we both moan.

“Oh Bo, so beautiful.”

Lauren settles above me, our breasts touching as I run my hands down her back until they reach their goal, her ass.

She rubs my clit before dipping a finger inside me, pumping in and out before I feel the tip of the dildo. As she presses her hips down I hiss as my body stretches to accommodate the size of it.

She freezes above me, “are you ok?”

Fuck yes I'm ok, “don't stop.”

Her hips move in slow, gentle thrusts until the dildo is completely inside me. I'm in sensory overload, the only thing that exists is Lauren. I reach up and grab a handful of hair and pull her away from feasting on my neck so I can look her in the eye.

“I don't want you to be gentle.”

We share a long slow kiss as my hand wanders back down to her ass and she begins thrusting her hips.

Our moans fill the room as we set a rhythm, the push and pull of each thrust sending me racing towards orgasm. I'm so turned on I know it won't be long.

Lauren straightens her arms, lifting her upper body off me. I take advantage and cup her breasts in my hands as I wrap my legs around her waist.

She's thrusting hard now, making me gasp and moan each time she fills me. When she whispers my name it makes my body shudder as I know she must be close too.

As the first tingling of an orgasm stirs in my body, I run my hands down her back, digging my nails in and she's there. She loses her rhythm as she throws her head back and screams my name.

Her thrusts are rough as I arch my back and come hard, yelling her name to the ceiling. I pull her down on top of me and I wrap my legs firmly around her, the dildo still buried deep inside me.

We share some gentle, almost chaste kisses before I eventually relent my hold on her and she carefully moves to lay beside me. I immediately miss the contact and roll onto my side, facing her.

She suddenly seems nervous, “are you ok? I didn't hurt you?”

Far from it, “hell no. In fact I think I want a little more.”

I push her onto her back and straddle her hips, I'm still hungry for her and I intend on having as many helping as I can get.

Lauren grips my hips as I lower myself onto the dildo. We never break eye contact as I begin to move, riding her hard.

I run my hands through my hair and then down my body, I can't help but grin as her eyes are glued to my hands as I caress my own breasts.

Sitting up, she brushes my hands away and replace them with her own. When she takes one of my nipple in her mouth and bites down on it, I throw my head back as another orgasm sweeps through me.

We spend the rest of the night touching, teasing, fucking. Just before dawn, with the harness discarded somewhere on the bed, we drift off to sleep, our bodies tangled together.

* * * *

As I slowly open my eyes I'm greeted by the sight of a very dishevelled doctor laying next to me. I reach for the hand that is drawing lazy patterns on my stomach and lace our fingers together.

“How are you feeling?”

I groan as I stretch my body, “a bit stiff and sore.”

Remembering the night before I look at her with a very smug grin. Lauren looks more than a little pleased with herself.

She moves forward and brushes her lips against mine, “are you sure you're ok, I didn't hurt you?”

We both know that's not what she's really asking, “I'm more than fine, last night was amazing and I want to do it again some time, ok?”

This seems to please her so I pull her closer to me so we can snuggle. Yes there are many sides to Dr Lauren Lewis and I want to find out about every single one of them.

The End.

Lost Girl: In the Moment (PG-13)

Pairing:  Bo Dennis/Lauren Lewis. 
Summary:  It takes place after episode 2.13 - Barometz. Trick. Pressure.
Lost Girl was created by Michelle Lovretta and is Copyright © Canwest Global and Prodigy Pictures.

* * * *

It's rare to have the place to myself and I plan on enjoying the peace and quiet while Kenzi is out on the town.

I'm just about to run myself a nice warm bath when there's a knock on the door. I guess it was too good to be true.

When I open the door, I'm surprised to see Lauren. As I stand aside to let her in, I catch the unique Lauren smell that I love so much.

"So, you're back."

She nods.

Taking in her appearance I begin to worry a little. She looks tired and there's a sadness in her eyes that I've never seen before.

“Lauren, is everything ok?”

She briefly makes eye contact, “Nadia and I broke up.”

It takes a minute for it to sink in. Oh shit.

“I'm so sorry Lauren, what happened?”

Making eye contact again, she runs a hand through her hair, “you did.”

An awkward silence settles over us as Lauren holds out her hand, “here are your car keys back, thank you.”

I stare at the keys in her hand. With everything going on, with so much to tell Lauren about the Ash-hole, all I can think about is her. About what her and Nadia being over could mean for me, for us.

I gently take Lauren's hand and pull her towards me, wrapping my arms around her. The small ember of hope I've had in my heart flares as I feel her wrap her arms around me and pull our bodies closer together.

We stand there in my living room for what feels like forever. Lauren's always been the one to make the first move. I've held back, too afraid that I would hurt her, or that I wouldn't be able to control myself and she would die. But in this very moment, all I can think about is showing her my heart. Finally, I move to cup her face in my hands. I brush my lips against hers and we share a brief, chaste kiss.

Taking her hand, I lead her up the stairs to my bedroom. Tonight won't be about sex, I just want to be there for her, comfort her.

I grab two tshirts from my draw, once we're both changed we get into bed. It seems the most natural thing in the world to be holding Lauren in my arms as she falls asleep. I don't care that sleep elludes me because for the first time in my life I look forward to what the future holds.

The End.